Written by Caroline Shannon
March 29, 2023
Discover why your personal family-building plans are a big part of whether or not you're qualified to be a surrogate.
Having kids is pretty cool, amirite? After all, if you’re considering becoming a surrogate, you already know what it’s like to carry your own children. But what if you’re not quite sure about whether or not your family is complete? Can you still be a surrogate if you might not be done having your own kids?
The simple answer is no. But the reason your family has to be complete is, well, complicated, and it doesn’t mean you can’t be a surrogate ever.
Before we get into how you can build your own family and also become a surrogate, let’s first review some of the requirements around pregnancy and birth that you must meet to start a surrogacy journey.
When you begin the surrogacy application process, two major things you’ll want to consider around your own pregnancy and family-building experiences are:
(1) Have you experienced at least one successful pregnancy with no complications?
(2) Are you currently parenting at least one of those children?
To apply to be a surrogate, the answer must be “yes” to both of those questions. These guidelines were created by the American Society for Reproductive Medicine (ASRM) in order to protect you, the baby, and the intended parents, each of whom is vital to the surrogacy process.
Related: How to Become a Surrogate: 8 Things to Consider Before You Apply
This one is pretty cut and dry. If you still want to have your own children, you won’t qualify as a surrogate. Because of the myriad issues that can occur during any pregnancy, this one is in place to protect what you still might want in the future. If you are considering continuing to build your family and want to become pregnant, we don’t want surrogacy to keep you from doing that.
Related: Can I Be a Surrogate If I've Never Had a Child?
While surrogacy might not be the right journey for you just yet, it doesn’t necessarily take you out of the running altogether. Once you are sure you are done having your own kids, you can apply for surrogacy and see where the application process takes you.
After all, three-time surrogate Ashley Greene, Nodal’s Program Coordinator, said of her journey that when she first considered surrogacy, “it was a ‘someday’” experience for her and her husband Kris because they weren’t yet done having their own kids.
“We decided to wait a bit before pursuing surrogacy,” Greene recently told Motherly. “But after our third child arrived in August 2014, I knew our family was complete. So, I began earnestly considering surrogacy.”
Even still, it wasn’t until April 2017 that Greene began to pursue an agency journey to allow her then-young family time to grow and settle in as a family of five.
The moral of the story? Surrogacy will still be an option for you once your family is complete.
The bottom line: Once you are done having your own kids, it’s time to apply to be a surrogate. But until your family is complete, you’ll have to sit tight!