Deciding what is important to you before you match is a critical part of a successful journey. So before making any big decisions, you should take time to reflect on what kind of intended parent(s) you’d like to work with and generally what type of relationship you’d like to have with them throughout the pregnancy and after birth. Below are some factors Nodal urges you to consider when thinking about your ideal match.
One of the first things to think about is what type of relationship you’d like to develop and how often you’d like to communicate with your intended parent(s). Some matches become very close throughout the journey and continue into the baby’s childhood, others develop cordial relationships that end shortly after the birth, while some others prefer to set boundaries and opt out of developing personal relationships with their match. There is no right or wrong way to approach it, just make sure you know what works for you and what doesn’t.
It’s also important to determine what preferences, if any, you have for the type of intended parent(s) you’d like to work with. There are many reasons that a family may choose surrogacy. Are you open to carry for a same-sex family? Are you open to carry for a single parent by choice? Are you willing to carry for intended parent(s) who have chosen surrogacy outside of medical necessity?
Another key factor to consider is the location of your intended parent(s). Does living near by your intended parent(s) matter to you? Often matches are made with IPs and GCs who live in different states with the IPs traveling to the GC’s home state for important appointments and, of course, the birth. Would you mind if the intended parent(s) lived in another country? Consider whether you are open to helping an international family who does not speak the same language as you.
Above all, it is important to find a match that shares the same values as you. You will need to be in agreement with your Intended Parents on the number of cycles you are willing to try, whether everyone is open to multiple births or not, and have the same stance on pregnancy reductions or terminations. Ensure you know where you stand on each of these topics before entering into an IP/GC relationship.
Keep in mind, both parties must agree to work together before the match is made official. Intended parents will usually submit their preferences for a surrogate’s location, lifestyle led, her health insurance, costs, or medical and pregnancy history. While it may feel awkward at first, it is important to voice your relationship expectations to ensure you are happy throughout your journey. Nodal will help guide you through these conversations later on!